Grandma Glam

The girls in our family love clothes and a chance to get all dolled up. Our love of fashion most definitely comes from Lu. Every morning she lays out her outfit for the day on her bed: starting with earings on either side of where her head would be, a top, a belt placed on top of top, pants draping over the edge of the bed down to a pair of shoes sitting on the floor under each pant leg. This gives her a chance to visualize the ensemble and make adjustments as necessary before committing it to her body for the day. Her belt collection includes a blinged-out Rocawear number and a playboy bunny head that spins with the touch of a button. She can't resist the color leopard and has a large enough collection to deserve its own closet. She also collects capri pants, hundreds of them. She sort of invented the "statement top" with real messages spelled out in jewels and sequins like, "Shop 'till You Drop" and a bold "FORE!" on her ass-kicking golf shirt. Best of all was the shirt that stunned a church full of people as she hoofed it up the aisle to receive communion. It was dazzling, it was resplendent, it was damn demonstrative. It said "MARTINIS MAKE MY CLOTHES COME OFF!" And maybe they would, if she had ever had one, but please, someone, get this woman a martini so we can get rid of this shirt!

This is a picture from the year she shocked us and showed up to Thanksgiving wearing jeans:

6th Man

Grandma loves, loves, LOVES to watch basketball. During one KU game she was secretly video taped yelling at the tv and slamming a water bottle into her coffee table. She gets a major potty mouth and we've heard our grandpa tell her to "clean it up". Some of her rantings are a little nonsensical. For example, during one KU game that Clint watched with her she yelled things like "BLAH BLAH BLAH JUST GET BACK OUT THERE AND PLAY!" as the other team's coach was advising his kids during a timeout. One time at my cousin Mark's basketball game, she got into a fight with the other team's mascot, where she flipped him her pointer finger (she didn't know it was supposed to be the middle finger until a couple of years ago-that is another funny story). A photographer captured the altercation between the two and it was featured in the Wichita newspaper. Oh how I wish I could find that article!

Deck the Halls with Hobby Lobby Glitter Balls

This is it, Christmas time, and it is SHOW TIME for my grandma. You may notice she has a little extra twinkle in her eye and sense of superiority over other women during the holidays. Actually, that twinkle in her eye is probably glitter, because every year she sets off the mother of all Christmas bombs in her house! Back in October she told my mom that she had not slept because she laid awake all night mentally planning how to decorate her mantel. We are talking raw passion here. First she clears her house of any "clutter" (like pictures of her progeny), so that every single flat surface in every single room, bathroom and bedroom is covered with garland, sparkle balls, pine cones, twiggy reindeer, santas, ribbon, snow covered village scenes and so on. Do not come into her home thinking you can enjoy a warm cup of holiday cheer, because there will be nowhere to set your glass. And if you pop in for a visit, you will not be able to sit down or kiss my grandpa until she's given you a tour. While you're touring, you may notice that there are 38 Santas (we took bets a few weeks ago), yet only one baby Jesus. It is a challenge to find sweet baby Jesus, because the only nativity scene is tucked into a corner in the office room. This may explain why many of us Doherty kids grew up thinking Christmas was a celebration of the birth of Santa Claus. All of her hard work really does make Christmas special for us and this year I found myself getting completely giddy over the perfect red and green table runner for my coffee table.

Even the towels get a little Christmas flair:

Of course this includes the paper towels too:

Kelly put duct tape over all of the Santa mouths to get a giggle out of our Gpa:

Ham Salad

As the mother of eight kids, Grandma is a great resource for baby advice, still valuable in 2010. My sister-in-law was talking about how to transition her twin babies to table food. I suggested cheerios, and mom suggested rice cereal. Then Grandma excitedly suggested "HAM SALAD!" "Mmm hmmm, ham salad with a little pickle in it, so they get their vegetables too".

Christmas Sweaters

The big funny Christmas trend a couple of years ago was to have a Tacky Christmas Sweater party, so of course we would all make a bee line for Grandma's to borrow one from her. She was soooo flattered that all of her grandkids wanted a piece of her savvy fashion style, that she dedicated a whole dresser to the festive knits. This year to get ready for the holidays, she bought every Christmas sweater and vest that suited her discriminating taste so that there would be plenty to go around, thus keeping peace within the family. Sadly, this year, there were no Tacky Christmas Sweater Parties and she doesn't understand why no one is making a fuss over any one of her 26 sweaters.

Meet My Grandma Lu

This blog is a loving collection of stories about our hilarious grandma from her daughters and granddaughters. She smacks her gum, grunts at people on television, and can work leopard print clothing better than a real live leopard. We adore her and can't wait to be the next one to have a funny story about her to share with each other.